I am Tanya, a 50-year-old Russian non-binary feminist scholar, committed to advocating the emancipation found in tantra, and the beauty of a slow, intentional build. My fascination has always rested on the potency of desire, the energy that feeds tantra, an energy that can both consume and liberate.
Today, my schedule included a planned visit to Dina, an older woman who graciously hosts tantric workshops in her dachas on the outskirts of Moscow. Her house was hidden behind a curtain of birch trees, providing a tranquil sanctuary. It was a place that felt free and clean, untouched by the prejudices and stifling norms of society. As I stepped onto the wooden porch, the scent of fresh pine mingled with the aromatic hint of burning incense.
Tracing the strands of a woven tapestry on the wall, I was reminded of the complexities woven into our narratives of sexuality, and the underlying tension that comes with confronting these societal constructs. Dina, a striking woman with soft silver curls, met me with warmth that carried a deep understanding of self-acceptance. She represented an enigma, a refined paradox of vulnerability and power.
Our lessons began in the adjoining room, the air heavy with anticipation. We started slowly, aligning our breaths, tuning in to the subtlety of sensation. I felt a strong magnetic pull, as if our energies were converging into a coherent rhythm. The room pulsated with tension, yet it was not of stress but of concentrated awareness.
The slow build was an intentional journey down roads less travelled; a daring exploration of a deeper realm of sensuality. There was an emotional connection that felt like bare skin against bare skin, warm and comfortingly real. It was a complete disregard for societal constraints, an unadulterated want for the self and the other.
As I left Dina's haven that evening, the moon peeked through the birch trees, casting a soft glow on the path. I felt a sense of renewal, of freedom that ran deeper than just the physical. The slow build in tantra was not only liberating, it was enlightening. I, Tanya, fifty and a scholar, had become an explorer, curious over the dynamics of my body and the energy that flowed within. |
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