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Growing up in Guadalajara, my abuela would often tell me, "La vida es como los libros, mijo—the different stages correspond to the chapters, each filled with unique flavors, fragrances, and lessons." As an unorthodox relationship coach, I find myself constantly revising my chapters, marking my life with a multitude of xxx bookmarks, each signifying a unique phase and understanding of self and relationships—the most noteworthy of them all was discovering my fascination for dominance and the enthralling journey of slow, simmering connections.
I was 18 at the time, still exploring a perplexing world of emotions, still trying to make sense of the binary standards society imposed on us. My first encounter with dominance wasn’t direct or glaring, but rather a slow unraveling, like a private dance between two willing souls—a dance that broke barriers and stereotypes. He was a liberally-minded boy with a sweet smile from a neighboring town. From the moment we locked eyes, it felt like tethered kites set free, discovering new heights and breadth. His fervor was palpable—in the tenderness he showed me, in the way he expressed his desires. Yet, he revealed another side too, a side that yearned for my dominance, for a control unbeknownst to me.
This was my 'aha' moment. Playing around the edges of dominance intrigued me—it presented a beautiful paradox. It wasn't about overpowering or disrespecting, rather it was about being a guiding light, a fortress to fall back on when the winds got too fierce. It was about nurturing trust, a sacred bond between two equals who decide to push their boundaries and explore unchartered territories hand in hand. It was around this crucial time that I came across the phrase 'xxx bookmarks,' a term that illustrated the significance of marking these important, self-defining moments in our lives.
Dominance, in its true essence, isn't about hurried satisfaction or base desires—it’s an art, a skill that requires patience and understanding. It's a slow build, much like the simmering pot of frijoles on my abuela's stove, growing in flavor and depth over time. And like this simmering pot, there were moments of quiet stillness, of letting the flavors meld together, followed by moments of stirring things up, adding your own unique ingredients. It's not about rushing through the journey, but about appreciating every step, every stumble.
When I look back today, I'm grateful for that gentle realization, for the freedom to dance between dominant and submissive roles. I'm endlessly thankful that I paired my personal path of discovery with the guidance of the cornucopia of 'xxx bookmarks' that marked significant growth spectrums. I am endlessly thankful for understanding that the scale of dominance does not measure power, but respect, trust, and mutual exploration. And in coaching my clients today, this perspective forms the nucleus of my counsel. Because, at the end of the day, we are all just looking for someone to help us see the world in hues we haven’t seen before, tastes we haven’t savored, and spaces we haven’t dared to tread.
These 'xxx bookmarks' are not just signifiers of dominant moves or moments of realization. They serve as poignant milestones on my route to self-understanding and evolution. They're reminders of the seasoned pot of frijoles, multi-layered, rich in taste, worth every second of the anticipation, and similar to our relationships—each simmer of dominance, each slow build of trust demands patience, respect, and a great deal of love. It's a dance, really—a dance of dominance and submission, of control and surrender, of individuality and togetherness. It's a dance we all are continuously learning and, eventually, mastering. |
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